Danyang–Kunshan Grand Bridge spans 102.4 miles Scandalously Flat

Dear Respected Engineers, Architects, and Gravity-Defying Wizards of China,
It has come to our attention — with great distress and several dropped globes — that your Danyang–Kunshan Grand Bridge spans 102.4 miles across Jiangsu Province… and remains scandalously flat.
We must ask:
What were you thinking?
Where is the 6,666-foot downward curve? Where is the majestic arc that every good globe-fearing citizen expects to see after 100 miles?
Instead, you’ve constructed a bridge so straight, so offensively level, it practically dares Newton, Galileo, and the entire spinning space-rock establishment to come down and explain themselves.
Are you aware that by building a bridge like this, you’ve:
Undermined centuries of cherished pseudomaths?
Disrespected the feelings of every physics teacher who’s ever drawn a ball on a whiteboard?
And worst of all… made people ask questions?
Therefore, we demand immediate corrective action:
Bend the bridge retroactively.
Add at least 1.2 miles of vertical drop at the midpoint — for science.
Issue an apology to the Curve™ and all who believe in it.
Failure to comply may result in the globe community issuing strongly worded tweets, upset reaction videos, and possibly even memes.
We await your response — preferably with a protractor.
Sincerely,
Concerned Citizens of the Spherical Consensus
#FlatBridgeCrisis #CurvatureCrisis #GlobeGoneWobbly #BendItLikeEinstein